The Librarian by Loulou Harris

It is four in the morning; you realise that you have been writing all night long. The experience of writing has helped you to clarify your ideas about Avon; you feel confident that you are slowly building up a picture of the individual whose life might have culminated in the meaningless murder of Blake. But is there enough emptiness in his voice, enough of a spiritual void? You wish to achieve a rich, metallic emptiness, as potent as a black hole. Putting your pen down with a groan, you lie back on your bed, wondering whether to go to sleep or else, to roam the hotel in search of the late party crowd.

A convention programme lies open on your pillow and as you move your head, a phrase catches your eye; zine library. According to the programme, there is an all-night zine library at the convention to which certain collectors have lent copies of their zines to be read by other fans during the weekend. Is it possible that finally, in this place, you will find the stories which have thus far eluded you?

As you approach the room in the now-deserted hotel, you begin to hear the low voices of a few people. Opening the door, you see Jemima and two more of your fellow conventioneers huddled around a small table piled high with zines.

"I was wondering when we would meet again!" Jemima comments as she steps forward to kiss your cheek. "I'm afraid that I was at rather a disadvantage at our last meeting!"

"You were...?"

"Sometimes I have to be saved from myself," she said, simply. "It's a nuisance, I know but there it is. I forget at times too, which can be especially annoying for Jonathan. I'm rather afraid that his patience will finally wear thin one of these days."

Confused, you ask, "So...what you are saying is that you think that Jon and I were right to come along and save that writer from you?"

Jemima laughs gently. "Dear me, no. It was rather the opposite. Mr. Davis took quite a shine to me, as it turned out. I really wasn't paying attention as well as I might. Thank goodness that Garda showed up when she did...unfortunately I think his intentions were dishonourable to say the least."

That Garda! She shows up where you least expect her and spreads gossip of the most pernicious and persuasive sort! It seems amazing that Jemima, who has known Garda for so long, appears to be innocent of Garda's likely motives. On the other hand, you now wonder whether Jemima has read Garda's recent and rather revealing article!

As you and Jemima exchange smiles of recognition, one of the other two stands up and introduces herself.

"Hi, I'm Reba, I'm the Zine Librarian. Is there something I can help you find?"

You reply; "Is there ever?!! Only about five stories which for the life of me, I don't seem able to conclude! Ever since I became interested in Blake's Seven fan fiction, my life has become a protracted search for the ideal story, which is the one I began to read some time ago. But now, months later, I am none the wiser about that first story and instead have been introduced to a series of distinct and entirely independent stories, all of which I was unable to finish, all of which I now wish to read."

Jemima nods in apparent understanding, saying, "I had an experience like that once. I was at a boyfriend's house and started reading a zine of his in which there was a quite wonderful story, a story which I was unable to finish then because of distractions, a story which I have never subsequently found and which my ex-boyfriend now claims never to have possessed. I remember quite clearly how it began;

'Someone who remembered Servalan must have talked because two hours before the raid on Gauda Prime, Commissioner Sleer was arrested. There was no explanation of any kind; the events of that bizarre day began with the arrival of two men who situated themselves in her apartment, making themselves comfortable as she railed uselessly against them.

They continued to present the very likeness of perfect reason in the face of her insolent rage but at no stage would they help her by disclosing the nature of her alleged crime, nor was any description of her likely fate forthcoming. For the first time, Servalan experienced a genuine sensation of impotence.

In the next stage of the story, Servalan was removed from her apartment, to a place which most closely resembled a jail, although Servalan could not recall ever seeing such a facility. Here, the two men, who claimed to be minor officials acting for the department of security, continued to interact with her, in spite of Servalan's stringent efforts to ignore or belittle them. Her arrogance was astounding given the small regard in which she was quite evidently held; as one of her guards continually reminded her, it was they that were now free and she herself the restricted one; which of them was the more powerful?

Why was she held in custody like this? The question was not answered in the section which I read. In the last scene which I did read, however, a curious thing happens:

One day, Servalan awakens to discover the door to her cell is open. She goes to it, passes through the door, walks down the corridor; all along, no obstacle! Neither does she come across the smallest indication of the presence of any guards. But! As she walks the lonely, isolated corridors of the building, she spots another open door. Behind it, she finds Del Tarrant. Rejoicing at the sight of a familiar face, Servalan forgets herself. Later, the two of them slowly realise that not only the jail but also the surrounding environs, have apparently depleted been of all human life- except for Servalan and Tarrant. What had happened since that first arrest? Had the world changed so radically? Or could it be that they were, as both had secretly hoped, finally free of the Federation?'"

"That sounds interesting," you comment, "almost the kind of thing for which I am looking....the beginning recalls, almost exactly, Kafka's The Trial...events take a different turn in your story though, or so it would seem...it is clearly a story which focuses on Servalan and her own experience of isolation within the Federation...yes, perhaps, after all it is a story which places too much emphasis on her for my own tastes..."

Even so, it sounds like a story which you might also wish to read. You ask Jemima for the name of the book but even that, she cannot remember.

Reba asks of you, "What is it you are looking for then? Look, if the list is long why don't you write them down and let me look them up! It's no use your looking for something around here."

You write down the titles of the four novels which you began, and entirely unable to resist, also add at the bottom, the title of your own story which must now join the multitude of incomplete fictions in your mind. On an impulse, just to complete the list in your own mind, you also add the title which you yourself have given to the story whose beginning has just been described. (You decide to name it precisely as the story ends; 'Finally free of the Federation'.)

. Handing the piece of paper to Reba, you then hear her say,

"Hmmm...what have we got? "Between life and death, Blake, beset by adversaries in the lattice of memories which intertwine, in the lattice of realities which interweave, dreams of a legend on a lonely world isolated by indifference; finally, free of the Federation."

You try to intervene; "Wait a minute! That's not it...no, I only meant the first four...and anyway it is not one line but rather...is supposed to..."

But Reba is already lost in concentration as she recollects and interrupts, "A book which begins like that? It does seem familiar, I must admit...a story of Blake, perhaps in the days between Star One and Aftermath, or else, sometime after Gan's death in Pressure Point? I seem to hear resonances with his past, his future; the dream of the legend, the alternate reality...yes, I could swear I've read it...and you say it is the ending you seek? Let me ask you; why?

In Blake's Seven fan fiction, there are always a very limited ways in which a story can end; if it is set in the canonical universe the whatever line the story takes must resolve itself at point zero before returning to the 'canonical' storyline. And if it is set in an alternative universe then you can almost expect an ending which makes nonsense of the canonical resolution; either a character who should be dead will live, a character who should be alive will die, friends will be enemies or enemies, friends; the cue is always taken from the solution presented by the canonical version of the story.

In any case, is it not the case that in the world of Blake's Seven the very notion of an ending is itself uncanonical? For the majority of the series, all endings are temporary or else, entirely deceptive; there are only minor truces, transient resolutions, each leading onto a new beginning in the very next episode. Perhaps that is why the finale jars so and why so many fan writers have been unable to accept it as a genuine ending..."

You hear all that Reba says and suddenly, in a flash it strikes you that you now have an urgent desire to know; how will it all end for you. And at that minute you realise that you want Jonathan.